Let me inspire you to rethink your past mistakes ~

When you hold onto something for a long time that you don’t want, and you wish you could be free of, it takes small bites out of you. Every day. It becomes that small, sick feeling in your stomach. It overshadows the times when you are feeling good and makes you question if you can ever be happy. It makes you doubt yourself. It makes you question others. You become afraid to love others because you cannot love yourself in the way you are meant to and want to and need to. You hide. You shelter. You stay on the fringe of things, looking in. You walk around in your life, not really in your life, and wondering is this all there is to life. You punish yourself. You hear a voice in your head that you made up to sound like other people’s voices, designed to judge you. You listen to that voice tell you that you are not good enough, that other people are happy because they deserve it for having lived properly and by the rules. Rules you broke. They are better than you. You believe that you are less-than and that less-than becomes your life. It permeates your relationships, your work, your appearance, your view until you fully believe that what happened to you is what is wrong with you and it is why you must live this punishment. Indefinitely. You lift the burden onto your back every day. The invisible load of self-imposed shame that you carry. Uphill. Silently.

Until…

You wake up. Open the windows. Let the light in. And decide that no, this is not how it’s meant to be. What you are holding on to is not permanent. You can let it go. It does not have to define you. You can talk about it and write about it and share about it until it becomes possible to put it down, set it free. Then, once the world hears about it the very thing that burdened you and took bites out of you, becomes the thing that encourages you, gives you strength and shapes you into the real you. The you that could live through that thing and survive that thing and walk away from that thing that hurt you. The power shifts back to you. And you learn that the voice in your head was not real. And that the people you thought were happy because they simply deserved it were in fact happy because they chose it and they, like you, had things they had to unburden and overcome. You learn that their story is your story and we are, every one of us, on the same journey. You come out of your hiding and shelter and walk around in the world as though seeing things for the first time in a long time, perhaps for the first time ever. You breathe in. You exhale. You hold yourself erect and stride. You weep because you are falling in love with yourself. With your faults and beauty and quirks and uniqueness. You fall in love again with your children and family and friends and neighbours and colleagues and strangers on the street. You find and fall in love with the one who has been out there waiting for you and travelling the path to get to you, knowing when the time came you would both be ready to love one another and be wildly happy.

And then…

Life is a miracle. Your miracle.